Maaaan…. I got called up for jury duty. Tomorrow I have to get up at some stupid hour of the morning* and go do my civic duty.

I am informed that my attire should be business casual. This means that I am wearing The Boots, because while I am perfectly happy to serve on a jury of my peers, I draw the line at being told what to wear. Part of the reason I’m an artist is because I’m bad with dress codes. And by “bad” I mean “I can just about manage right-side out, more than that is pushing your luck.”

Also, I am secretly hoping to be quickly dismissed on the grounds of being goth/weird/distracting/whatever. If all else fails, I suppose I can use the “Hang ’em all and let Ganesh sort ’em out!” option**, but I can’t proclaim that sort of thing with proper conviction while maintaining a straight face.

It’s not that I am opposed to being a good and upright citizen and all that–I have no real complaints with the county, I use the roads and the mail, I am happy enough to go and put in a day’s work for democracy and the right to a fair trial–but y’all KNOW what my life is like. If anybody is gonna get called to serve on the jury of the Serial Squirrel Sex-Strangler, and wind up sequestered for the next six months…well, I’d just as soon dodge that particular bullet. I have enough Defective Wildlife issues, I don’t need Defective Defendants to go along with ’em.

*i.e. around the same time Kevin gets up normally.

**Being a god of infinite compassion, presumably this would work out well for those involved. Except for the hanging bit.

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