Since there’s nothing I can do about the wallet situation at the moment–the Lost and Found isn’t open on Christmas, but my options look like A) have it overnighted if possible, B) Fly without ID, be searched, and hopefully retrieve it in MN, and C) have my long-suffering but willing parents drive me seven hours to Minneapolis to get it (They’re willing and ready. I have great family.) or perhaps D) take Greyhound back (or E, have somebody drive my car up here and GET me, an act of self-sacrifice I can barely comprehend, but which has been offered.)

So, I’m taking refuge in oddity.

It came out over dinner that my grandmother, good Catholic that she was, used to keep saint medals and pardon crosses safety-pinned to her bra. My stepfather’s mother apparently used to do the same thing.

The brain boggles. What saint do you wear ‘pon your bra? Who is the patron saint of cleavage? (Grandma apparently favored Saint Anthony as guardian of the boobage.)

Somehow I had never heard of this tradition, but the way things are going, I may damn well buy Saint Jude and give ‘im a try…

Update: Further family discussion has lead to the question “Is there a patron saint of getting laid?” (Yes, I have an interesting family.) I thought hey, if anybody’d know, it’s the readers, and so I put it to you…what saint medal should adorn my cleavage?

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