More proof that I should not be allowed to communicate with Otter

I’m telling you, this is the next brilliant thing.

Say you’re a pirate. You’re tired of the eyepatch. You want something charming. Something fuzzy. You want love.


Dwarf hamsters, gerbils, very small sugar gliders…I’m telling you, if I had any idea where the patent office was–and if Kevin would let me leave the house when I’m gibbering about stuffing rodents in people’s eyesockets–I would scurry, not run, to said office.

They call me Gerbil-Eye, terror of the high seas…

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