Gang, this is an honest plea for help/advice/something.

I photograph like a retarded vampire chipmunk. I got some lovely tips today on photographing better from a friend, but this doesn’t do much good when it’s only me and a cheap camera that I can’t even plug into my damn machine. (“Okay…okay…figure out the time delay…set it…run around the front…crap, I remember that it was chin up and three quarter view of the face but look towards the camera and–shit–was it three quarter view of the hips and torso, or straight on, or–*CLICK*–DAMNIT!”)

I am at a point in my life and self-esteem where a good photo of me might be NICE. I mean, I’m lookin’ pretty damn good at the moment, and at the very least, I would like to immortalize it for posterity, since frankly, I suspect this is the best I’ve ever looked in my entire life.

Yes, it’s vanity. I am okay with that.

Any advice on how the heck to get some good shots? I mean, I don’t want to go blow scads of money being professionally photographed, which really would be vanity, and completely unjustifiable, but it would be nice to have SOMETHING.

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