Ben is a cat with a mission.

Apparently it’s an escort mission.

The mission begins at a little after 8:30, after James has gotten up. Ben attempts to trigger the questgiver–namely me–by walking around on the bed. If I am particularly sloggy today, he climbs onto my chest and purrs. Ben is a very large cat. This will get the mission going in no time.

Once I’m up, Ben escorts me to the bathroom and checks for ninjas. Dangerous things, ninjas. They can swim up plumbing like rats. Finding no ninjas, Ben accepts a quick petting while the questgiver attends to needed bodily functions.

Then it’s down the stairs at a gallop, and an escort to the kitchen. The questgiver dumps food into bowls and replaces water. Our hero is pleased.

I am now free to go about my own devices for most of the work day, provided I don’t move around too much. Ben returns occasionally to recharge on a lap and make sure the keyboard tray isn’t getting uppity. He passes the time by slaying bits of lint and the mighty feather-onna-stick, or by engaging in a little PvP with the other cat.

Should I leave the house, Ben will be waiting by the door when I return. I assume that he treats these as an unskippable cut-scene in the day, and uses it to get a snack and perhaps catch up on his napping.

All bathroom visits put Ben immediately back on duty. Only the vigilant presence of our hero keeps me from recieving a nunchuk enema when I least expect it.

When the work day has ended, the questgiver plays video games. Ben did not approve of Neverwinter Nights 2 (not enough lap available with PC games) and there was too much button mashing in Jade Empire, and hence unseemly gyrations of the lap surface and much accidental clonking of controllers against kitty noggins, requiring him to lay on the questgiver’s legs instead. The questgiver would also scream obscenities a lot. KOTOR2 is fine, however. Our hero approves of this. The questgiver doesn’t go to the bathroom nearly as often when playing video games, reducing the chance of a ninja-related fatality significantly.

Then eventually I go up to bed. Mission complete, Ben is free to pursue his own business, since everybody knows that ninjas never attack people while they’re in bed. Another successful day, a little more XP, and life is good.

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